Familyman Ministries: Familyman Weekly - A Weekly Newsletter for Dads

Familyman Ministries: Familyman Weekly - A Weekly Newsletter for Dads

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लोविंग माय Family

Loving My Family
As I continue to grow as a wife and a mother, I am realizing more and more that the greatest thing I can offer my children is love, nuturing (i.e. comfort), and humility as a parent. It seems so much of the stuff out there is getting children to come in line, first time obedience and all the other retoric. I sure don't see this as the way God handles us. If it were, I for one, would be long over due to be struck by lighting. Isaiah says, "He, (Jesus), shall lead his flock like a shepherd and the shall gather his lambs into his arms." Hebrews says, it is his KINDNESS that leads to repentance". That is what I want to pass on to my children. I do not think it is being "doctrinally" correct, whatever that means, or just being the perfect, consistant mother that is going to get my children to love and follow God. I believe it is going to be by ME loving God and loving them.It is interesting that Jesus said the world would know we are his disciples by our LOVE for one another. Shouldn't that begin in our own homes. For me, often my frustration as a mother as been that my agenda was not being met. Unconditional love was overshadowed by My idealism. I found myself, more that I would like to admit, laying down arbritary "laws" because somebody else said it was the "godly" way to be. One example I can think of right off the bat, is going to bed early and rising early. Other examples are the concept of "daily devotions" or the hour prayer time, or praying in a certain order so that God would hear me....the list could go on. However, as my desire increases to know God for MYSELF, without the filter of someone else's interpretation, I am finding alot of the "stuff" falling away. As a result, I am loving my family more, enjoying my children more and finally settling into an "unforced rhythm of grace" that I have so long for and preached to myself for years.As I serve my husband and children true joy comes. My children are not my "agenda". They are membersof the body of Christ, that I can serve with love. I owe not man anything, but love, beginning with my family!! This is one account I don't want to be in debt to!!

Detox and Unschooling
I've wanted to sit down and write but find it hard to get motivation, because of all the sorting I have been doing in my brain। When I came out of the "closet" about the freedom I am experiencing in Christ, my reading of "The Shack" and then my stance that "spanking isn't the best option", friends of many years sent me e-mails, accusing me of not "believing in spanking", being "deceived" and believing in a "different" Jesus। I was also encouraged to be sure to let my husband know "what I am getting into", as if after 28 years of marriage I would be hiding something from him or that he would not "know"। One friend banded me from her e-mail list। It has been emotional and has striped away another layer of grave clothes I did not even know I was wearing.I have continued to read and read and read and I an abosorbing this new God of Love. Some of the stuff I read tells me I am going through religious detox. Since I am a certified herbalist and do "detoxes" and am familiar with the side effects, I can understand why this religious detox does not feel so good at times, but I can deal with it know it is producing a "cleaner" me and drawing me to the Father's heart of love.Part of the religious detox has been almost feeling "mad" at times. Feeling taken advantage of and used by Christians. People I have poured my life into for years totally not reading me or REALLY knowing me. I find myself being very cynical and judgemental of the systems I was into for years, namely the "homeschool" movement and all its GURUS. I seem to be more sensitive to the insensitivity of "Christians". It just burns me. Then I struggle with the ideas that I am not being "very Christian" for having such thoughts. I run back to my Abba Father and bury my face in his shoulders. It seems he pats me on the back and says he understands; He deals with it a million fold! LOL!So, what does this have to do with unschooling. My children are being detoxed too. I have spent time just sharing with them all that I am learning. They have read "The Shack" (the 14 and 17 year old), and now I am reading it out loud to all five at home 17, 14, 11, 9, 5. We are going to finish it today. My 16 year old is reading "Messy Spirituality" and my 14 year old is reading "Wide Open Spaces" and they are asking me to finish reading "Divine Nobodies" which I started reading to them a while back. This is on their own initiative. In my religious world, I would make sure they were doing their "devotion" time, or at least nag about it! As a result of them reading we talk alot about issues of life and how they relate to God. I really see the detoxing in my 17 year old. The strange thing, is for about 5 years we weren't even in church. But, I was still religious. We go to Church now, very loosely and are not evolved in a the meetings and junk!I do a postal route for 2 hours in the morning and then come home and the we read together. They like it and I like gathering them under my wing most days. Like I said, we are reading "The Shack" and then will finish "Divine Nobodies". I have a book called "God Has A Dream" by Desmond Tutu. My 24 year daughter is adopting from Africa, so we like to read some things to learn of Africa. We read "Left to Tell" which was about the Rwanda Holocost. We are also going to read "What is the What" or something like that. During this reading time I am reading the gospels and we are trying to just look at Jesus, seeing what HE was like and not what we have been taught He was like on earth. We have a book called "World History Through the Bible", which I read a bit from some days. We are just trying to put the pieces together, Chronologically.After this time, most of the day is spent doing what ever every one wants. I have stuff laying around they can do, I try to always get resources when they ask me for something.I have an online Phonics program that my 9 year old does some days. he was 9 in Jan. and is still barely reading. So, I suggest to him to do the phonics, encouraging that one day it will click, as he really wants to be able to read so he can read the Zelda walk throughs. Funny thing, the first time he beat Zelda, I had to read all the walk throughs and the prompts on the game. Now he does not need the walk through and is reading some of the prompts himself. Progress!!When my children were young, preschoolers, I just read to them and played with them. In my younger years, (I have been homeschooling for 26 years), I had more moments of panic and resorted to cirriculum in insecurity. I think I might be freed from that now!! LOL! Maybe exorcised would be a better word. My older girls do ask me for stuff like Math and spelling and then they work it totally on their own. My 17 year is into astronomy right now and various science stuff. She like getting on forums that debate Creation and Evolution and then we talk about that.My children play various internet sites, do the Wii. They get series of programs and like to watch it until they have seen them all; most recently it has been "Avatar". Others have included Anne of Green Gables, Lost In Space, I love Lucy, Little House On The Prairie, Star Wars.For the month of May we are taking Hip Hop Dance on Tuesdays and Art on Thursday. I direct a Community Girls Choir and we practice on Wednesdays, which 2 of my girls participate. My 16 year old works at a bakery and cleans houses for people at times. My 14 year takes piano. Totally her own thing. I NEVER tell her to practice, she just does it. I taught my 16 year to play guitar a couple of years ago and she has taken off on her own. Now I am teaching basics to my 9 year old at his request.The girls are seldem bored, not that bordem is necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes it is the seed bed for imagination. My 9 year old, the only boy at times, does get bored at times and gets sick of being nagged all the time!! So, I am constantly having talks of loving and respecting and honoring people's space.Obviously there is no lack of opportunity for learning. Thanks for the opportunity to type it out, because now if anyone thinks we are not "learning" I can pull this post out! Hey, in fact if I have a week moment regarding homeschooling, I may just re रीड!

Once a mommy....

I don't know about you, but after 26 plus years of being a mommy and almost 28 years of marriage, sometimes I just LONG to get dressed up or "gussied-up". You know, the pretty dress, high heels, a little make up, some cheap perfume and clean underwear with a panty liner. I am almost 50, 9 children, that is a must! I've watched my girls dress up for years. Even the boys join their ranks, being forced to attire themselves in feminine mode to accommodate a sister's passing fancy.

Last night was one of those nights where I COULD actually fulfill my fantasy and "beautify" myself, to the degree that it is possible. My husband and I attended a wedding of a man we have known for about 20 years. He is 51 and married a gal who is 37. Neither had been married. It was a beautiful wedding.

In "Sharon" fashion, I dressed and hopped in the car feeling PRETTY GOOD after a much need shower, a little Bath and Body spray, clean underwear and a clean ultra thin maxi pad, (Aunt Flo had come to visit). The reason will come clear as to WHAT that has to do with the night.

As some of you know, although never offical diagnosed, I am sure I am recovering from OCD, (obbessive compulsive disorder). I have certain compulsions that I have not been able to disorder myself from. One of those is taking green tea with me where ever I go. .

There I am sitting pretty in the car and we come upon a traffic jam. That meant sitting, sitting, sitting, knowing now we are going to be late for the wedding. As we are sitting, I noticed that I am VERY wet. I had done it AGAIN. The car has evidence of my past indiscretions, but now I AM the evidence. I forgot to snap close the Starbuck 16 oz. travel cup. The yummy Jasmine Green Tea was now my bathing solution and my perfume.

I retrieved a roll a extra absorbent paper towels from the back seat and tried to soak up the damage. Believe me they were not the "quicker picker upper" they claim to be. But, I continued knowing that a change of clothes was not in the equation. The dress I was wearing dried out pretty quickly, after I put my rear end toward the heater vent. However, when I would sit down, I would get soak again. I had put a plastic bag over the seat, so it was not coming from there.

I sat feeling very uncomfortable and we finally arrived at the wedding. I had my husband to “rear end patrol”, and everything looked just fine, so he said. Thank God for crepe style, quick drying dresses. I swayed my hips a little more that usual to try to air out the swampy feeling I had. We walked into the church, no time to assess the damage, as we were late. I sat down in the DRY church seat, and felt all squishy again. Nothing I could do, but go with the flow, no pun intended..

The service ended and we headed to the reception at the Museum of flight. I went to the bathroom to finally get a clear idea as to what I was dealing with. I sat on the toilet, pulled down my stockings, pulled down my tummy slimmer, control thing, my THICKER cotton underwear with the now super duper fat green tea filled, once ultra thin maxi pad, to access the damage. I could not put on a peel and stick UTMP on VERY wet cotton underwear. So, there I sat, cold wet and having to attend a formal wedding dinner. What could I do? What any woman would do? I took everything from waist down, off. Sound familiar? I then stuffed the underwear and tummy slimmer thing in my purse. I pulled out my spare UTMP stuck it on my nylons and put them pack on. I put my shoes back on and stood to leave, feeling very naked! Of all the days to not wear a slip!

I opened the door, washed my hands and sauntered out to my husband. The breeze between my legs left me feeling very vulnerable, but an evening reception in a darker room would be to my advantage.

I am not sure if there is a moral to this story, but let me think for a minute; Overcome your obsessions? Ultra thin maxi pads hold about 12 ounces of Jasmine Green Tea? Never leave home without a change of clothes? A slight draft between the legs dries nylons pretty quickly? How about this; things usually work out, just laugh a lot and make the best of the circumstances?

The following a post from another blog. I think is great. I am looking for a God of love these days? What kind of God are you looking for?

How Do We Know We're Right?

I think that for some people, Christianity is about being right. They want a religion where they can learn the correct answers to every single imaginable question and then go up against anyone in a debate and win, hands down. I am amazed at how many people truly think that they have all the answers. I've seen hundreds of people come up with hundreds of translations to a single Bible verse. Each person believes that their interpretation is the right one. Each person believes that God has personally revealed the exact meaning of that passage to them. Quite frankly I am surprised that anyone with any level of spiritual maturity would even enter into a debate over any one Bible verse; it's always a no win situation. Debating Bible verses is like debating the abortion issue - no one will ever be convinced of anything they don't already believe.

After spending over twenty years in full time ministry, I think I have learned at least one thing: people will always hear what they want to hear. They will interpret the Bible to mean whatever it is that they want it to mean. They will believe what they want to believe and in the end, they will do what they want to do. Whatever point a person wants to make, whether right or wrong, they will find scriptures to support it. There are scriptures that support a loving God who will never leave His children and there are scriptures that support an angry God who will. There are Bible verses that teach us to be respectful to everyone and there are Bible verses that give us license to show disrespect to anyone. There are verses that support eternal security and verses that shoot it to hell. There are scriptures that command us to love one another and there are other scriptures that command us to not even associate with certain people. There are verses that tell women to keep quiet in the church and there are other scriptures that not only allow them to speak but encourage them to do so.

I personally believe that God knew ahead of time that the Bible would support any viewpoint that people wanted it to support. I actually believe that God designed it that way. He did it to confirm the suspicions of both the evil and the loving. He designed it to validate both the actions of people who do good and the actions of people who do harm. He was well aware of all the different opinions that would arise in the future. He knew full well that each person would find a passage that would unequivocally support their opinion while completely proving their neighbor's opinion to be wrong.

God knew that charlatans and swindlers would find scriptural support that would confirm their constant pleas for people to send them money. He knew that it could and would be used to condemn single mothers and divorced people to a point of spiritual paralysis. He knew that the Ku Klux Klan would find Biblical support for their cause and He knew that Martin Luther King would base the very essence of his dream on the heart of that same book. God knew that Billy Graham would hear a call to save the world through it's words and He also knew that Richard Ramirez would hear a call to commit a string of brutal murders based on the same set of words. He knew that one family would read it and feel compelled to help pay for the funeral of a local man who was killed as a soldier serving his country and He also knew that another family would read it and feel compelled to arrive at that funeral with hateful signs and megaphones, screaming to the mourning family that their son is burning in hell.

The very fact that there are well over three thousand different denominations in North America alone is living proof that the Bible and the character of God Himself can and will be interpreted in whatever way people want. Everyone claims to know the right interpretation, yet we would be hard pressed to find any two people who agree on what that is. It is always shocking and a bit comical to me when I meet someone who sincerely believes that they know the exact interpretation of scripture. It is frightening when a person not only believes that their interpretation of the Bible is correct, but feel that God has called and anointed them to force everyone else to believe their particular interpretation. Truthfully, these people scare me to death.

When I see a Christian clinging to his Bible in a public place like it's some kind of spiritual life support system, I fearfully wonder how he interprets it. It's pretty creepy if you think about it. The fact that he has a Bible in his hand could mean one of a thousand things. It could mean that he will wave hello and smile at me with kindness in his eyes, or he will pull out a gun and go on a shooting rampage. He may invite me to join him in heaven or condemn me straight to hell. He might offer to pay for my meal or he might ask me to pay for his. He might invite me to his church or he just might ban me from it. It all depends on what he already believes in his heart when he opens the book. The final interpretation of the Bible in his hands, is given by him alone. The scary part, is that whatever interpretation he decides upon, he will believe came to him straight from the Holy Spirit. This kind of thought wakes me up in the middle of the night. This thought causes me to gather up my children and keep them close to me when a "Bible" person walks into the room.

One of the scariest things I hear in the church today, is the encouragement for people to stop and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the truth of Scripture to them before they read it. It also concerns me when I hear people say that no one can understand the Bible unless it's revealed to them by God's Spirit. I understand why we say it and what the basic reasons are behind that philosophy, but when you teach it as fact, you are asking for people to do wild and horrible things in the name of God. It becomes an excuse for folks to shed all personal responsibility in their actions.

I have come to the conclusion that the Bible has the power to supernaturally reveal and magnify what is ALREADY in the heart of the person reading it. Whatever you are looking for in scripture, you are sure to find it. If your God is hateful and angry, you will find him all throughout scripture. If your God is loving and patient, you'll find Him as well. If you are mean spirited and you like telling people off in a rude manner, the Bible will validate your point of view and tell you that your anger is justified and acceptable. Whatever you seek in Scripture, you will find. Whatever you seek in this world, you will find. Whatsoever you seek in the spiritual world, you will undoubtedly find.

I recently met a preacher who has his own website and uses it to spit fire and rage at everyone he disagrees with theologically. This preacher is downright nasty and belligerent to anyone who questions him and he does it all in the name of God. When I asked him why he is so harsh and cold, he explained to me that he is doing exactly what God called him to do. This man pointed me to John the Baptist and Jeremiah, and he referred to the time when Jesus turned the tables over in the temple and drove people out with a whip. He proudly and loyally declared to me that he will NEVER back down and see things any other way.

This truth in life doesn't just end with the Bible. The fact is that whatsoever you seek or believe to be true about God, will be demonstrated and proven to you in life itself. Fifteen years ago, I went to the funeral of a young girl who was killed in a motorcycle accident. While talking to her friends and family, I was horrified at the various viewpoints regarding God's personality, as they found reasons for the girl's death.

One man told me that he felt that God "took her" (that's a Christian word for murdered) because she wasn't living her life for Him. Another gentleman just shook his head in sympathy as though he knew that this was inevitable. He said, "God finally had to lift His hand of protection from her because she walked outside of his covering." In other words, God didn't kill her, He abandoned her. At the funeral, a girlfriend of hers recalled to me some of the last few words my friend spoke to her just days before the accident. As she considered the irony of that brief conversation with her friend, she knew now that her friend was more than ready to meet the Lord. She was overwhelmed at how God had graciously prepared her for the time of her death. Still another person felt that God stood helplessly by and watched as the Devil killed her. Each person found absolute proof and confirmation concerning the God they believed in with their hearts and no one could tell them differently.

This brings up a question that is begging to be asked by anyone reading this and the question is this: how do we know the truth? If scripture can mean whatever we want it to mean, how can any of us know for sure that we are right? How do we know that God is who we say He is? Are you saying that whatever people believe about scripture is ok with God, and that everyone is right in their own way? How do we know that God isn't what the mean church down the road describes Him to be? Who is right? Is there or is there not a way to read and understand the Bible accurately? Is there a way to know who God really is and to hear His real voice? How can God blame people who have been taught something wrong about Him their entire lives? What about the people in the Taliban who blow themselves up along with fifty other innocent people because they've been taught that they are doing God's work? How can they be held responsible if they were acting on what they really believed to be true?

In the last several months, I have had several well meaning and honest people come into contact with what I preach and they've bought into it - hook, line and sinker. They are thrilled and excited about this wonderful new found freedom. But about a month or so into it, they call and ask me how they can know for sure that what I'm saying about God's Heart is right. They remind themselves of all the other times when other preachers sold them - hook, line and sinker - with his picture of God, and they believed it wholeheartedly. They then see that my message completely contradicts his at every turn, and they begin to question themselves and wonder if they have the ability to know for certain who is right.

When it comes to the message, I always say to people, "You decide." In the end, that's what it comes down too. Whatever you decide, will become truth for you. I'm not saying that whatever you decide will become "truth", I'm just saying that it will become "truth for you." I think that there is a principal here that can actually direct you to the right decision if you think about it.

There is one thing that every one has alive within them from birth. We inherently know from birth, that it is right and true and that everything of eternal worth springs forth from it and it alone. The very nature of it bleeds forth the essence of God Himself. It does this because it came from Him, and the moment it was deposited in you, it constantly cries out to be reunited with Him. It is not only from Him, but it is a piece of Him that has within it the fullness of all that He is. The DNA of God is fully alive and swimming inside of you from the day you were born. You cannot shut it up but you can ignore it. You cannot get rid of it but you can rid yourself of it. You cannot steal it from others but you can give it away. Until you submit to it and live according to it's voice, you will always be lost and subject to whatever teaching comes your way.

That "thing" inside of you that was deposited in you from birth, is Love. The truth of Christianity sprang to life when you heard it because that thing inside you finally found it's match. Love came from God and it will always be compelled to return to Him. This is precisely why everyone is without excuse when it comes to knowing what is true. You do know the truth, no matter who you are or how you were raised. Whether you were raised a radical Muslim or a hard core Atheist, it matters not, because that portion of love that you were given at birth has always testified to the truth. Many people choose to deny it or ignore it because their family believes something different. Others plug their ears to it and purposefully do the opposite of what it says. Still others put words in it's mouth and pretend that it said something that it didn't. The fact remains - everyone has it. The reality is that few use it or listen to it.

If you want to determine whether or not what I teach about the Heart of God is true or not, I want to encourage you to close your eyes and ask that portion of Love that lives inside you. Let it be the filter through which you listen to my audio sermons. Read my writings through the looking glass of love. Look into your heart and follow that love, and you will see that the things I say about God are true. You don't need another teacher to give it to you. All you need to do is to listen to the portion of love that was given to you and you will be guided into all the truth that the universe holds! Never again will you be deceived by a new wind of doctrine or a hype-filled teaching from the latest popular evangelist. In fact, you won't even need my teachings because you will know the truth and that truth will set you free!